Half the truth

My mistress continues to vex me. She has claimed that honesty is the best way of communicating. And for a long while, it seemed like she truly believed it. Lately, however, it seems she has developed some doubts. I always suspected my mistress of being a shy of conflicts. I try to convince her that conflict is unavoidable, that it is best to get it out of the way as quickly as possible, and to a certain extent, she agrees. However, she seems unable to follow my advice. She omits the truth or disguises it with white lies when it is unpleasant for the receiver. I wish she would realize that concealing the truth would only lead to more lies. I know she would want nothing but the truth herself, even if it might be difficult for her to accept at first. I have given her nothing but the truth, and I believe that she has grown tougher from it.
I realize that she thinks them fragile, these people she lies to. She convinces herself that it is because she doesn't think they could handle the brutal honesty. She has to try to break it to them gently, by giving them (more or less) subtle hints. But she has no plan B if that doesn't work. Some people simply don't read between the lines, and if they do, they refuse to understand. I'm convinced that nothing but the raw and naked truth will make them understand.

Motivation

Motivation is hard. How does one find the motivation to study for an exam in a subject one doesn't like? I know, the motivation should be that you don't want to fail again! My mistress has forfeited all her chances of improving her grades. She ended her vacation early to come up to this forsaken place and study hard. Well, she's hardly studying. There is no need to feel sorry for her. In fact, it would be really good for her if someone shook her out of this dream state. How is she going to pass this exam if all she does is sleep and worry? I've tried to tell her that she hadn's need to worry if she slept less and studied more, but she seems deaf to my advice.
I don't feel sorry for her, and I implore the rest of you not to do so either. If she complains about the amount of work to do and the lack of time, please remind her that she has had all summer to do something about it, and an addition of two whole weeks. Where is that wake up call? Where is that voice that tells you (before it's too late) to do something before you ruin your chances of passing this course? I am angry and disappointed but anger and disappointment won't secure anyone a pass grade. You are on your own mistress, and when you fail again, please explain to your very understanding parents how you managed to do so, when you have apparently been so busy studying hard every day for two weeks that you didn't even have the time to call them.

Selflessness or laziness?

My mistress is under the delusion that the lack of initiativ from her side is a sign of selflesness. She took absolutely no part in deciding where the journey should go after two weeks of compulsory activity, citing that it mattered not where they went. Her only demand was that she would be able to afford it and that they would stay at a safe and sanitary place. Some would call this generous, but you ought to recocgnize it for what it really is. Utter laziness. Not once has my mistress made any attempt to plan the rest of her stay in South America. Luckily, someone has. Do not be fooled by my mistress' contimous claims of being fond of planning. There is nothing she dreads more than to meticulously planning soemthing that lasts more than one day.
There is another matter in which one would be wise in not overestimating my mistress, and that is her skills in martial arts. She may have a belt in something, but that does not make her capable of fighting off anyone. Luckily she is willing to admit this herself, but I suspect that her friends think too highly of her in that matter.
I do not mean to paint an unflattering picture of my mistress, but her behaviour has forced my hand (or should I say my pen). She has too many things to focus her attention on, and not enough discipline to do them just. Only time will tell when she realizies that it is necessary to work even after hours. Until then we will have to bear with her and her complaints over the shortage of time and amount of work.

Enjoying ourselves?

My mistress is intent on enjoying this trip, even if it costs her her sanity. She turns the blind eye or the deaf ear to everything that might ruin her vacation, including her family. Selfishness, she calls it. I do not say that I disagree, but my mistress refuses to listen to them. I suppose she thinks they owe their father this. They haven't been here since 2005. It's not all bad, though. My mistress' plan to make a little scrapbook of this trip is seemingly successful. But a family trip with this family is risky. Two of the members could explode if they aren't happy. Luckily, the mother is more content now, because of a certain aunt. The younger sister had an episode a couple of days ago that resulted in a delay in any immidiate long journeys. The father is all about pleasing his family. He came here mostly to visit his mother, brothers and sisters and their children. My mistress is a bit tricky to figure out. It seems like she too is a ticking bomb, even though she is less likely than the others to go off. Firstly, because there would be no reason for her to be upset. Secondly, because she finds it embarassing to cry in front of others. And thirdly, one isn't enjoying oneself if one is crying. So suck it up!

Inspiration

I don't know if someone told my mistress before she decided to share her thoughts with the world that... it is actually possible for the world to read her thoughts. Probably not, or else she would have been a bit more careful with wath she posts on her blog. She experienced something that she would describe as "uncomfortable" a couple of days ago, and it has made her consider deleting my blog. In fact, she was so frightened that she almost deleted her own, which would have been fine with me, but my point is that she was clearly overreacting. Well, almost, she did not delete neither of our blogs, even though she is still shook up about the incident.
I didn't realize that free speech came with limitations. Sure, what my mistress wrote was cheeky, but it was nonetheless true (followers will know what I mean). I was annoyed when she was pressured to "edit" what she had written, but I suppose we acted rationally this time. Perhaps it wouldn't have been so nice to be sued over something so silly.
Still, even though my mistress chickened out, her little scare has inspired me. I won't chicken out.

The holidays: a time to... catch up?

We haven't been home for even a week, and I'm already boring my wits of. If that is even a correct expression. My mistress insists upon being cooped up in this tiny appartment in this boring industrial area. Who is she kidding? She's miserable and crearly not brightening the mood for anyone. and I'm running out of distractions.
Taking a walk is out of the question; my mistress would probably get lost or bored within a couple of minutes. Being social requires too much of her attention. She'd rather stare absent-mindedly into space to distract her from everyday life. Not that there's much to be distracted from. The television is filled with brain cell killing entertainment, she's read all of her books and refuses to buy any new ones because then she'd have to pack them in her suitcase when she leaves.
And so I'm stuck here with her and her family. Even they find an escape from reality. The fact that the television contains nothing but hazard doesn't seem to stop them. Me, I'm ripping my hair out trying to figure out how to survive the insanity for another two weeks.
It probably doesn't have to be this bad. She could ease up on her folks, clean the house, cook dinner, wrap some presents, be social with her sister. That would keep her occupied and this vacation more endurable. But then again, what would it change? My mistress would probably just complain about doing the chores when she should be realxing. And her family would most likely not be apeased for long.
For Heaven's sake, this is your vacation, wake up and act like it is! Stop pretending like it's another really lon week-end and enjoy yourself. I must be out of my mind, thinking I can make my mistress listen to me. I'll be in hibernation until this is over.

Tension

After months of more or less hard work, my mistress is finally starting to realize that she might not make it through the exams. I've always told her that she has too high expectations of the world and low expectations of herself. I am telling you, mistress, it is only going to get worse. You had better take on the world soon, before it swallows you whole.
I might be too hard on her, but that is only because I want her to succeed. Failure is not an option for us. Do whatever it takes to motivate yourself, but don't ruin this for us!